Poor Charlie
by x-NeonQueen-x
Summary: One night Bella is bored so Edward, and Bella play a game of truth or dare. but poor charlie is trying to sleep, but Bella just won't let him. Way better then it sounds, promise. EXB
1. Chapter 1

**B's pov**

"Edward I'm bored." I said leaning on him. Edward was lying on my bed with me like every night, but strangely I didn't even feel a little bit tired.

"Well what would you like to do?" He asked stroking my hair. "Let's play a game." I suggested. Edward looked at me curious. "Like what?" He asked.

"Let's play truth or dare." I said excited. "All right love, you go first." Edward said sweetly. "Ok Edward, truth or dare?" I asked. "Dare." Edward said.

I grinned evilly, and thought about what he should do. "I dare you to drop your shirt in the toilet, the put it on Charlie." I laughed quietly. Edward

stared at me with his mouth hanging open. "No way am I doing that." Edward said mad. "Sorry Edward you have to, it's a dare. I said smugly.

Edward groaned, and got up. I followed behind him laughing quietly. Edward slipped his shirt off, and gently dropped it into the toilet. I had to bite

down on my lip to hold back the laughs that were threatening to bust out. Then he picked the shirt up between his two fingers, and looked at it

disgusted. Then he quietly walked to Charlie's room, and I watched as he placed it on Charlie's legs. Charlie flinched, but didn't wake up. When we

got back to my room I laughed at Edward's face. "Ok miss smarty pants, truth or dare?" Edward said smugly. I stopped laughing, and looked at him

nervous. "Dare." I said nervously. Edward grinned. "I dare you to wake Charlie up, and asked him if you can go to the bathroom, then ask is he can

help you." Edward said smugly. I looked at him horrified. "Sorry love, but you have to do it." Edward laughed. I sighed, and walked over to Charlie's

room. I went over to him, and pocked him until he got up. "What is it Bella?" Charlie asked tired. "Can I go to the bathroom?" I asked reluctantly.

Charlie's eyes widened and he stared at me in surprise. "Yes, of course you can." Charlie said. "Can you help me?" I asked. Charlie looked at me

appalled. "No, you're a big girl, just go by yourself." Charlie said looking like he was going in shock. "Ok." I said walking out the door, and back into

my room. Edward was laughing so hard he would be crying if he could. "You would not believe what Charlie was thinking when you said that." He

said chuckling. "Oh yeah Edward, truth or dare." I said annoyed. Edward looked slightly nervous. "Dare." Edward said confidently. "I dare you to call

Jacob Black, and tell him that you are in love with him." I said handing him my phone. Edward glared at me, but dialed the number. I giggled as he

dialed. "Yes is this Jacob?" Edward asked smoothly. "I just wanted to tell you that I am in love with you." Edward said, and then hung up quickly. I

laughed as Edward put the phone down disgusted. "Ok Bella, truth or dare? Edward asked. "Dare." I said only feeling slightly nervous. "I dare you

to wake Charlie up, and tell him that a hobo is in your shower, and he keeps throwing soap at you." Edward said smugly. "Why do you want Charlie

to kill me?" I asked whining. "I don't, but it's just that Charlie is so funny when he is confused." Edward laughed. I groaned, and went over to

Charlie's room again. I walked very close to him, and began poking him. When he woke up he groaned. "What now, Bella." Charlie asked. "Dad

there's a hobo in our shower, and he keeps throwing soap at me." I said trying to sound scared. Charlie's eyes widened, and he jumped out of bed,

and to the bathroom. I followed him feeling completely stupid. When Charlie opened it he frowned. "Bella there isn't a hobo in our shower." Charlie

said still frowning at me. "Oh I just I was just imaging it." I said nervously. "Are you ok Bells, your acting a little strange?" Charlie asked walking back

to his room. "I'm fine dad; I'm just tired as all." I said, and walked back to my room. Edward was lying on my bed laughing a little too loudly.

"Edward, truth or dare." I said when he was finished. "Dare, I don't think you can do anything that embarrassing to me then what I did to you." He

laughed. "Fine paint your Volvo pink, and keep it that way for a year, and you have to only use it when you are going to school." I said smugly.

Edward looked surprised, and upset. "I have to paint my Volvo?" He asked defeated. I nodded, and watched from my window as he ran outside, and

began painting his Volvo. I laughed at him when he came back in. "Bella, truth or dare?" Edward asked calmly. "Dare." I said. "Ok go over to Charlie

wake him up, and when he says Bella tell him your name is Polly, and when he asks you a question slap him across the face, and when he looks mad

start to fake cry, and if he says your grounded give him a wet willy, and flick him on the ear, and when he says Polly say I want a penny." Edward

said in one breath. I stared at him in awe. "No way Edward, Charlie would kill me." I whined. "Sorry love, next time pick truth." Edward said smugly. I

groaned, and went to Charlie's room for hopefully the last time. I poked him until he woke up. He sighed, and this time sat up. "What?" He asked. I

held my hand out hesitantly, and slapped him across the face a little bit too hard. "Ouch, damn it Bella what was that for?" Charlie asked. "I slapped

him again lighter this time. "My name is Polly." I said. "Bella…" Charlie said raising his voice. "My name Is Polly." I said again. Charlie glared at me

looking furious. I began to fake cry loudly. Charlie looked up at me shocked. "Bella what is wrong with you?" Charlie asked. I slapped him again with

a little force. "My name is Polly." I said. "Ok fine Polly." Charlie said playing along. "I want a penny." I said. Charlie looked at me confused. "I don't

have a penny Bella." Charlie said. "My name is Polly." I said. Charlie frowned at me. I began to fake cry again. "What is wrong with you tonight?"

Charlie asked. I slapped him so hard there was a mark across his face. Charlie started turning red with fury. "You are grounded." He yelled. I stuck

my finger in my mouth, and sucked on it watching Charlie confused expression. Then I stepped closer to him, and put my finger in his ear. Charlie

pushed me away disgusted. "Gross, what the hell is wrong with you?" I slapped him again, and then quickly flicked his ear. Charlie was so mad I

swear there was steam coming out of his ears. I ran to my room, and laughed. "That was actually really fun." I whispered. Edward laughed. "But just

wait what your dare's going to be." I said evilly. Edward looked at me nervously.

**Review??**

**Shall we continue messing with Charlie??**


	2. Chapter 2

"Edward, truth or dare." I asked. "Dare" He said. I dare to punch Charlie, and then run out before he wakes up. Edward groaned, and got up, and

walked to Charlie's room. I followed behind him. He went over to him, and punched Charlie in the stomach, and quickly ran into Charlie's closet.

Charlie yelled out. "Ouch!" He sat up, and looked around the room. After a while Charlie laid back down, and came out looking amused. "Ok Bella,

truth or dare?" Edward asked. "Dare." I said. "I dare you to give Charlie a wedge, tell him he needs to brush his teeth and then every time he asks

you a question tell him his hair looks like a cat, and if he gets mad tell him he smells like a hobo, and when he says Bella tell him you think he needs

to go on a diet, and ask him if he liked his wedge." Edward said smugly. I groaned, and walked over to Charlie's room. I walked over to him. He was

lying on his stomach. I reached down, and gave him a super wedge. "Ouch, what the hell?!" Charlie yelled. "Your hair looks like a cat. I said looking

at Charlie's hair. "Bella, what do you want?" Your hair looks like a cat, and I think you should go on a diet." I said. Charlie glared at me. "No I don't."

I yelled. "You smell like a hobo." I said. "Did you just come over to insult me?" Charlie asked fuming. "Your hair looks like a cat." I said. "Yeah I know,

you told me that all ready." Charlie said annoyed. "Did you like your wedge? I asked. Charlie glared at me. "No Bella, I did not like my wedge."

Charlie yelled. "You need to brush your teeth." I said. Charlie looked at me shocked, and he glared at me. "You smell like a hobo." I said. He glared

at me. "What is wrong with you, are you drunk or something? "Your hair looks like a cat." I said. Charlie sighed. "Go back to bed Bella." Charlie said

angry. I quickly walked out of his room, and back to mine. Edward was laughing so hard that I swore he was going to explode. "Edward truth or

dare?" I asked annoyed. "Dare." He laughed. "I dare you to call Emmett, and tell him that we are going to make love, and you need some tips, and

you have to listen to all of them with out complaining." I laughed evilly. Edward reluctantly dialed Emmett's number. "Hey Em, Bella, and I have

decided to make love tonight, so could you give me some tips before we start?" Edward asked sounding embarrassed, and nervous. Edward's eyes

widened every few minutes, and lust would fill his eyes. When they hung up he groaned. "That was complete torture." Edward moaned. I giggled.

"Bella, truth or dare?" Edward asked after a while. "Dare." I said. I dare you to take the bat out of Charlie's closet, and wake him up, then tell him to

give all the money or you will beat the crap out of him, and then start hitting the wall with the bat until there is a hole, then ask him if he is afraid of

the googey man in a scary voice, laugh loudly every time he asks a question, and every time he says Bella hit him with the bat." Edward laughed. I

sighed, and went back to Charlie's room. I went to his closet, and got one of his bats. I walked over to him, and poked him with the bat until he

woke up. He glared up at me. I held up the bat over him. "Give me the money or I will beat the crap out of you." I threatened. "Bella what are you

doing with my bat?" Charlie asked furious. I laughed loudly. Charlie looked at me confused. "What is so damn funny?" Charlie asked. I laughed again

even louder. "Bella…" Charlie groaned. I smacked him with bat. "Ouch!" Charlie yelled. "Are you afraid of the googey man?" I asked in the most scary

tone I could. "Charlie looked at me as if I grown another head. "No, why would I ?" Charlie asked. I laughed darkly, but louder then before. "Bella

you have serious problems." Charlie groaned. I glared at him, and hit him with the bat again. Then I turned around, and began hitting the wall as

hard as I could. "Bella what are you doing?" Charlie yelled. I laughed loudly, and quickly turned around, and hit him with the bat, then went back to

hitting the wall. Charlie continued to yell at me, but finally a large noticeable hole appeared. "I did it." I said proud of myself. Charlie yelled at me

again. I laughed, and slowly placed his bat on the ground, and ran back to my room. Edward was laughing as I walked in. "Edward, truth or dare?" I

asked innocently. "Dare." Edward said smugly. Yes. I cheered in my head. "I dare you to make love to me, right now." I said smugly. Edward stared

at me his mouth parted. That was the plan all along.

**Review??**


	3. Chapter 3

Edward continued to stare at me in surprise. I laughed. "I was just kidding you silly vampire, I can wait until after the wedding." I laughed. Edward looked at me relieved.

"So what is my dare then?" Edward asked. "I dare you to lick Charlie's foot." I said proudly. Edward looked at me horrified. "Well you could do the first dare if you want." I said smugly.

In seconds Edward was out of the room. I ran into Charlie's room Edward walked over to Charlie, and bent down. I watched as Edward's tongue touched Charlie's foot. Edward got up quickly, and flew out of the room. He quickly kissed me, and stuck his tongue into my mouth. After a while he let me go pleased. "Ok all greater." Edward said pulling me back into my room.

"Ok my dear Bella, truth or dare?" Edward asked. "Dare my dear Edward. "Ok I dare you to get Charlie's gun, and wake him up, then point the gun at him, and say put your hands up, and no one will get hurt, when he says Bella yell very loudly to give you the money, and call him a old man every time he swears, when he asks a question tell him he has a very big butt, and when he gets mad tell him you wet the bed." Edward said smugly. I sighed, and slowly made my way over to Charlie's room. I spotted his gun belt, and quickly took all the bullets out.

I walked over to Charlie, and poked his head with the gun until he woke up. He looked at me he frowned. I held the gun out to him. "Put your hands up, and no one will get hurt." I yelled. Charlie looked at me shocked. "Bella put that gun down right now." Charlie said glaring at me. "Give me the money." I yelled very loudly. "Damn it Bella, put it down." Charlie yelled.

"You old man." I said harshly. "Give me the money." I yelled. Charlie glared at me. "I am not old." He said angry. "Charlie I wet the bed." I said looking ashamed at him. Charlie looked at me disgusted. "How did you wet your bed?" Charlie asked. "You have a big butt." I said. Charlie glared at me, and grumbled. "I do not have a big butt, Bella, and you are so grounded." Charlie yelled turning red. "Give me the money." I yelled. Charlie closed his eyes, and rubbed his forehead. "Go back to bed Bella." Charlie mumbled sounding beyond annoyed.

I walked back to my room after throwing Charlie's gun on the floor. Edward looked at me amused. "Edward truth or dare?" I asked. "Dare." Edward said. "I dare you to ask Jacob to marry you." I laughed. Edward glared at me as he dialed. "Hello is this Jacob?" Edward asked. "Hi Jacob, will you marry me?" Edward asked quietly, and then quickly hung up. I laughed.

"Bella truth or dare?" Edward asked. "Dare of course." I said. "I dare you to spray water on Charlie to wake him up, and spray him every time he frowns or glares at you, when he asks you a question say yes no matter what he asks, and when he yells stomp you foot, and say that you have to pee, then when he tells you to do something tell him that you wish that he would get eaten by a shark." Edward said.

I stared at him in awe. "How do you come up with all these dares?" I asked. Edward shrugged. "It's a talent." Edward said smugly. I walked over to Charlie's room, with the spray gun I found in my closet. I aimed it at him, and began to spray him. His eyes flew open, and he glared at me. I sprayed him again. "Bella what the hell are you doing with a squirt gun?" Charlie asked angry. "Yes." I said.

"Yes what?" Charlie yelled. "Yes." I said. I stomped my foot which caused Charlie to look at my like I have lost my mind. "I have to pee." I yelled feeling a little embarrassed. "Then go to the bathroom." Charlie said annoyed. "I wish a shark would eat you." I said. Charlie glared at me. "Gee thanks Bella, that's exactly what I wanted to hear." Charlie said sarcastically.

I sprayed him again, and grinned evilly. "Bella would you stop it, I have work in the morning." Charlie yelled. "Yes." I said, and stared at Charlie. "I can't go to sleep with you standing right there, go back to your room." Charlie said less mad. "I wish that you will be eaten by a shark." I said harshly. Charlie sat up, and glared at me. I squirted him. Charlie sighed, and wiped his soaked.

"Bella, do you hate me or something?" Charlie asked annoyed. "Yes." I said. Charlie glared at me. "Why." Charlie asked not at all hurt by this. I squirted him. "Yes." I said.

"Bella I thing you have completely lost it, and I'm not sure what's going to happen tomorrow, but I know it's not going to be good for you, now go to bed." Charlie said his voiced getting harsher at the end. "I hope a shark eats you." I said, and ran out of his room. Edward Cullen you are going down.

**Review??**


	4. Chapter 4

**B's pov**

"Ok, Edward truth or dare?" I asked evilly. Edward looked at me nervously. "Dare, I guess." Edward said. "I dare you to call Jasper, and tell him Emmett has been thinking very perverted thoughts about him." I laughed. Edward grinned, and quickly dialed the number.

**Ed's pov**

"Hello Edward, what do you need?" Jasper asked politely. "Hey Jasper I am just calling to let you know that Emmett has been thinking very perverted thing about you." I said trying my best not to laugh.

"Please tell me you me he is thinking about me and Alice…" Jasper said disgusted. "Afraid not, it's all about you, and him." I said calmly. "Gross!" Jasper said appalled. "That's all I wanted to tell you so, bye." I said hanging up. Bella gives me the most fun of dares.

**B's pov**

"Ok my sweet Bella, truth or dare?" Edward asked stroking my cheek. "Dare." I stuttered. Edward laughed as he listened to my heart race. "I dare you to wake up Charlie, and tell him that you are a vampire, and then bite his neck, then every time he yells tell him his blood tastes disgusting.

Then when he asks you a question do the chicken dance." Edward said laughing at my tired expression. I walked back into Charlie's room, and woke him up. Charlie sat up. "What next?" Charlie asked.

I started to do the chicken dance feeling completely stupid. "Bella I swear you are going to get 'help' tomorrow." Charlie sighed. "Charlie, I am a vampire." I said, and bite him on the neck. "Ouch, damn it Bella you are not a vampire." Charlie yelled pushing me away, and rubbing his neck.

"Your blood tastes disgusting." I said trying to sound appalled. "I know Bella I am a terrible person, I am so sorry I'm not a freak like you." Charlie yelled. "Your blood is disgusting you fat old man." I hissed. I added that in because I was really mad at him for saying that. "Bella, you are not a vampire, I am not old, and you are a fruit loop." Charlie said harshly.

I walked over to him and scratched him across the face making large noticeable marks across his face. "Ouch damn it Bella, now what do you think you're a cat now?" Charlie asked furious. "Don't talk to me." I said holding up my hand, and walking out of his room. When I got back to my room Edward was laughing hysterically.

"Charlie is starting to wonder you really are mental." Edward laughed. I groaned. "Edward, truth or dare?" I asked. "Dare." He said a little smugly. "I dare you to pull off one of Charlie's socks then stuff it in his mouth, but don't like him catch you." I said giggling quietly.

Edward sighed, and walked over to Charlie's room. Edward slowly took off Charlie's socks, and then slowly went closer to him. Edward quickly shoved the sock into Charlie's mouth, and ran out of the room. Charlie sat up quickly.

He spit out the sock, and held it up confused. "Damn evil sock." Charlie said loud enough for me to hear. I ran into my room, and laughed quietly. Edward came in looking amused. "Charlie sure is a weird man." Edward murmured.

I laughed. "Bella truth or dare?" Edward asked. "Dare." I said. "I dare you to sing 'Milkshakes' to Charlie, then when he asks you a question ask him if he has milkshake, then when he yells tell him that he is just jealous that you have bigger boobs then him, oh, and ask him if you can make love to me." Edward said smugly. I groaned, and walked back to Charlie's room. I poked him on the eye.

"Ouch." Charlie whimpered rubbed his eye. Charlie glared at me. I looked at him, and began to sing.

'_My milk shake brings all the boys to the yard,  
and they're like  
it's better than yours,  
damn right it's better than yours,  
I can teach you,  
but I have to charge_

My milk shake brings all the boys to the yard,  
and they're like  
it's better than yours,  
damn right it's better than yours,  
I can teach you,  
but I have to charge'

When I finished Charlie looked at me shocked, and his face was all red. "Bella would you like to explain why you just sang that?" Charlie asked disturbed. "Charlie do you have milkshakes?" I asked. Charlie looked at me disgusted.

"No Bella, I am not a woman." Charlie said annoyed. "I think you are a woman." I said. Charlie glared at me. "Bella, I am not a woman!" Charlie shouted.

"You're just jealous that I have bigger boobs then you." I said folding my arms across my chest. Charlie sighed. "No Bella I am not jealous, and I am not a woman, so if you would like to insult me, or torture me with gross songs then please do it quickly I have to get back to sleep." Charlie said annoyed.

"Can I make love with Edward?" I asked. Charlie's face turned from red, to pink, to blue to purple, then back to red. "No way is that skinny little ass punk going to sleep with you, and don't even think about asking me again." Charlie yelled. I flinched, and slowly back out the door, and into my bed room. Charlie is really mad so I think he needs a short break before we start again.

**Review??**

**Sorry I made Charlie so mean about making love with Edward, but he was really stressed so hearing that just made him snap, so don't be mad at Charlie. And I am sorry this one wasn't as funny, I am running out of ideas. Sorry ******


	5. Chapter 5

**B's pov **

"Edward I think we should give Charlie a short break before we start messing with him again." I said nervously. "Yeah, I think your right. "Truth or dare?" I asked. "Truth." Edward said reluctantly. "Edward have you ever daydreamed about us making love?" I asked shyly.

Edward looked at me nervously, and nodded. I blushed, and giggled at his embarrassed expression. "Bella, truth or dare?" Edward asked quickly. "Truth." I said. "Would you rather marry me, or become a vampire?" Edward asked. I had to think about this.

"I guess I would rather marry you." I said. "Really, but you seem so much more… willing to be changed." Edward said surprised. I shrugged. "I want to marry you before I get changed." I explained. Edward smiled brightly. "Ok, Edward truth or dare?" I asked.

"Dare." Edward said. "I dare you to throw a piece of cheese on Charlie's face, and make sure he doesn't see you." I laughed. Edward ran to the kitchen, and was in Charlie's room in seconds.

I stood at the door excited. Edward held up a slice of cheese over Charlie's face, and quickly he dropped it, and ran out of Charlie's room. Charlie flinched, and sat up. He held up the cheese, and looked at it confused.

Charlie looked up at the ceiling, then back down at the cheese. "Where the hell did this damn cheese come from?" Charlie said confused, and slightly afraid. Charlie shrugged, and ate the cheese and laid back down. I laughed quietly, and walked back to my room.

Ok, Bella truth or dare?" Edward asked. "Dare." I said. "Ok go wake up Charlie, and tell him someone was stealing food out of our fridge, and say you don't want anyone to steal our food, then when he sees that nothing happened slap him across the face, and tell him to get our food back." Edward said. I laughed, and went over to Charlie's room. I poked his belly until he woke up. He glared at me.

"Now what?" Charlie asked. "Charlie some one is stealing the food out of the fridge, and I don't want anyone stealing our food." I whined. Charlie's eyes widened and he jumped out of bed, and ran down the stair.

He ran into the kitchen, and slowly looked around. He went over to the fridge, and opened it. When he closed it he turned around, and glared at me. "Bella no one stole our food." Charlie said annoyed.

I slapped him across the face. "Get our food back." I yelled. "Ouch damn it Bella, no one stole our damn food, now go back to bed." Charlie shouted, and walked back to his room. I laughed as I walked back to my room. Who knew making Charlie mad was so fun, I should do it more often.

**Review??**

**Sorry it was so short, but I ran out of good ideas. If anyone has any good ideas I would love to hear them. **


	6. Chapter 6

**B's pov**

"Ok, Edward truth or dare?" I asked. "Dare…" Edward said a little nervous. "I dare you to fill on of my bras with peanut butter, and then put it on Charlie's face, with out him catching you." I said smugly. Edward got up looking uncomfortable.

I handed him one of my old bras, and watched him as he ran down stairs, and started filling my bra with peanut butter. When he finished he ran to Charlie's room. I giggled at Edward quickly put the bra on Charlie's face, and ran out of his room. Charlie sat up in shock. He pulled the bra off, and stared at it in surprise. He looked up at the ceiling, and then glared at the bra.

"Damn, that Bella better keep her peanut butter bras to herself." Charlie growled throwing the bra on the ground disgusted. I laughed quietly as I went back into my room. Edward grinned, "Ok, Bella truth or dare?" Edward asked. "Dare…" I said.

"I dare you to tell Charlie that you are going to marry Spongebob, then every time he swears tell him he is not invited to the wedding, and if he says Spongebob is not really slap him across the face, and tell him he is real." Edward laughed.

I grinned, and walked over to Charlie's room. I flicked Charlie's nose until he woke up. "He glared at my rubbing his nose. "What do you want?" Charlie asked. "Charlie I am going to marry Spongebob." I said.

"Bella Spongebob is not real, and you said you are marrying Edward." Charlie said annoyed. "You're just jealous that I get to marry Spongebob, and not you." I said. Charlie glared at me.

"No Bella I am not jealous that you get to marry a talking sponge that is not real." Charlie shouted. "You are not invited to the wedding." I said harshly. "Thanks Bella, thanks for uninviting me to your pretend wedding with a cartoon character, that is not real." Charlie said rolling his eyes, and glaring at me.

I slapped him across the face. "Spongebob is real." I shouted. Charlie rubbed his cheek, and glared at me. I walked out of his room, and back to mine. "Ok, Edward truth or dare?" I asked.

"Dare…" Edward said. "I dare you dump hot coffee on Charlie." I said. Edward laughed, and ran down to the kitchen. After a few minutes we both walked into Charlie's room. Edward walked over, and quickly dumped a whole cup of coffee all over Charlie's face, and then he ran out it of the room.

"Ouch, hot, hot, hot, holey shit hot." Charlie said rubbing his face. Charlie smelled his hands. "Where did this damn coffee come from?" Charlie yelled. Charlie wiped his hands on his bed, and after taking one more good look at the ceiling he laid back down.

I laughed so hard I was crying when I got back to my room. Edward was also laughing. "Charlie thinks the roof is trying to kill him now." Edward laughed. Now I was laughing harder. When we both calmed down Edward looked at me.

"Ok my love, truth or dare?" Edward asked. "Dare…" I said. "I dare you tell Charlie that he was a booger in his nose, then ask him if he farted, then sing happy birthday to him, wake him up by rubbing a banana on his face, and then when he says Bella say what kind of police man are you, you can't even touch your toes, then ask when was the last time he has showered." Edward said smugly.

I sighed. This one might get me into real trouble. I walked over to Charlie with the banana I got from the kitchen. I then began rubbing the banana all over his face. His eyes flew opened, and he grabbed my banana, and threw it against the wall.

"That poor banana." I said looking at the banana guts all over the wall. Charlie glared at me. I walked up closer to him, and stared at his nose. Charlie looked at me confused. "What are you staring at?" He asked annoyed.

"You have a booger in your nose." I commented. Charlie's eyes widened, and he covered his nose quickly. "No I don't." Charlie grumbled. "Charlie did you fart?" I asked disgusted. Charlie looked at me shocked.

"No Bella I did not fart, now leave me alone. "What kind of police man are you, you can't even touch your toes?" I said harshly. Charlie glared at me. "I can touch my damn toes for your information miss I love insulting my dad." Charlie yelled.

"Charlie when was the last time you have showered?" I asked looking at him. Charlie looked at me shocked, and angry. "I have showered every day of my life thank you very much." Charlie yelled.

I looked at Charlie, and smiled at him for the first time tonight. He looked at me warily. I began to sing the happy birthday song to Charlie. He watched me confused, and shocked, and a little annoyed. When I finished Charlie frowned at me. "It is not my birthday…" Charlie said annoyed, and surprised. I laughed, and walked back to my room.

**Review??**

**Any dare requests, or ideas?? **


	7. Chapter 7

**B's pov**

"Ok, Edward truth or dare?" I asked. "Dare…" Edward said. I smiled evilly. "I dare you to put poison ivy all over Charlie's face." I said smugly. "Where am I going to find poison ivy?" Edward asked. "It's growing out front." I said.

Edward sighed, and jumped out my window. He came back in, in seconds, and ran to Charlie's room. I watched as Edward slowly went to Charlie. Edward quickly dropped the poison ivy on Charlie's face, and he ran out of the room.

Charlie flinched, and he sat up. He picked up the leaves confused, and looked around, but then he froze, and started to scratch. "Damn itchy, itchy, itchy, why in the hell am I so damn itchy." Charlie moaned.

Charlie flipped on his light, and looked at the leaves. "Oh my god, these are poison ivy leaves, damn it, how did poison ivy fall down from that damn ceiling?" Charlie asked confused, and mad. Charlie dung in his medicine cabinet, probably looking for cream.

Then he started rubbing the cream on him, and then he lay back down. I ran back to my room laughing quietly. "Ok, Bella truth or dare?" Edward asked. "Dare…" I said unafraid. "I dare you to wake Charlie up, and ask him all kinds of questions about 'Dora the explorer.' Edward said smugly.

I laughed, and went to Charlie's room. I poked Charlie in the ribs. He whimpered, and rubbed his ribs. He glared at me. "Charlie, how can Dora's backpack talk?" I asked. Charlie looked at me shocked. "Bella Dora isn't real…" Charlie said slowly as if I wouldn't understand.

"Does Dora wear underwear?" I asked. Charlie frowned at me. "How am I supposed to know?" Charlie asked annoyed. "Why does Dora ask so many stupid obvious questions?" I asked.

Charlie rubbed his face looking beyond annoyed. "Because Bella, she is a freak, like you." Charlie said. "Why does Dora act so stupid all the time, like she wonders around totally clueless, and asks _me_ to help her?" I asked trying not to laugh.

"Bella she doesn't act stupid, and she isn't asking you, now go to your room, and leave me along." Charlie said frustrated. I walked out of Charlie's room, and ran back to mine. "Ok, Edward truth or dare?" I asked. "Dare…" Edward said.

"I dare you to pour honey all over Charlie's body except for his head." I said laughing quietly. Edward laughed, and flew out of the room. I followed him into Charlie's room. Edward quickly dumped honey all over Charlie's body, and ran out of the room.

Charlie jumped, and sat up. "Oh dear god, where did this damn honey come from, I am allergic to honey!" Charlie shouted. I busted out laughing from the door. Charlie looked at me. "Bella you poured honey all over me?!" Charlie yelled.

"No, it wasn't me." I said quickly. "So who was it Bella, Spongebob, or Dora, or maybe it was a hobo." Charlie yelled. Charlie was beginning to get all swelled up. I ran to my room quickly, and locked my door. But I didn't hear Charlie; all I heard was the shower running. "That was a close one, I better be more careful next time.

**Review??**

**Out of ideas again…**


	8. Chapter 8

**B's pov**

Ok, Edward truth or dare?" I asked. "Dare." Edward said smiling. "I dare you to invite Alice, Jasper, Rose, and Emmett to play with us." I said. Edward laughed, and started to dial. "No need Edward I all ready saw this happening." Alice said jumping in the window.

Everyone else came into. We all sat on my bed. "So who goes first?" Emmett asked rubbing his hand together. "Well it is Edward's turn now." Alice said. Edward grinned, and nodded. "Emmett, truth or dare?" Edward asked. "Dare." Emmett said quickly.

"I dare you to drop a water balloon on Charlie." Edward said smugly. Emmett laughed, and ran to the kitchen He came back in seconds. Emmett drew a scary face on it, and then ran to Charlie's room. Alice, and I followed him. Emmett stood over Charlie, then let the water balloon drop, and ran out of the room. Charlie slapped himself in the face, and sat up.

Charlie looked at the ceiling, then he looked at the pieces of balloon on his bed. All of a sudden he sprang up out of bed. "Spider!" Charlie yelled, and began smacking his bed with an umbrella. "Take that you damn evil spider." Charlie yelled.

"Are damn spiders throwing water balloons at me?" Charlie mumbled, and after looking at his bed for anymore spider he laid back down, and put a pillow over his face. Alice, and I laughed quietly as we walked back into my room. "Did you put a spider in his bed to?" I asked laughing still.

"Yeah, but it was a fake spider." Emmett laughed. "Ok my turn, Bella truth or dare?" Emmett asked. "Dare." I said nervous. "I dare you to go wake up Charlie, and laugh at him for being afraid of spiders, then when he goes to say something hold up your hand and say no I won't have sex with you, sorry, then when he glares at you tell him there is a spider on him." Emmett said laughing.

Everyone laughed. Emmett's dares were worse then Edward's. I walked over to Charlie's room, and went over to him. I poked him on the forehead. He looked at me annoyed. I laughed at him. "You are afraid of spiders!" I laughed loudly. Charlie frowned embarrassed.

Charlie went to say something so I put up my hand. He looked at me as if I grew another leg. "No, I won't have sex with you sorry." I said. Charlie looked at me appalled. "I don't want to have sex with you, you weirdo." Charlie said glaring at me.

"Charlie there is a spider on you." I said. Charlie cringed, and looked down franticly, and then he looked up. "Stop teasing me Bella." Charlie yelled. I held up my hand again. Charlie rubbed his face, and flopped back down on his back. "Go away." Charlie pleaded. I waked out of his room, and back into mine. Everyone was laughing a little to loudly. "Rose, truth or dare?" I asked. "Dare…" She said nervous. Perfect.

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	9. Chapter 9

**B's pov**

"I dare you to super glue vampire fangs in Charlie's mouth, and put a mirror by him so he can see what you did." I said laughing. Rosalie snorted, and ran to the kitchen. I walked over to Charlie's room, and watched from the door.

Rose went over to Charlie, and waited for him to open his mouth. When he did in vampire speed she put the teeth in, and ran out of the room. Charlie flinched, and sat up quickly. "What the hell?" Charlie said. The teeth made him sound funny.

Charlie picked up the mirror, and looked at himself. His eyes widened, and then he rubbed the place I bite him last time. But then he sighed, and poked the teeth with his finger. He sighed out in relief. When he tried to pull out the teeth he whimpered, and glared at them in the mirror.

"Stupid, fake, plastic teeth." Charlie mumbled. I snickered quietly. Charlie got out some kind of tool, and started to try to take off the teeth. When he got it off he held it up smugly.

"Ha, ha, you stupid teeth, you thought you were going to stay there forever didn't you, huh, well guess what you were wrong, so take that." Charlie yelled triumphantly, and threw the teeth against the wall. I wished I had a tape of this so much, but sadly I didn't so I walked back to my room laughing the whole way. When I sat back down on the bed Rose looked around. "Jasper, truth or dare?" Rose asked smugly.

"Truth, Charlie never did anything bad to me." Jasper laughed. Rose frowned, but then smiled. "Jasper is it true that all of the boys have been feeling lust during the game so far." Rose asked. Alice, and I looked at the guys amused at there uncomfortable expressions.

"Yes actually I don't think either of them has stopped lusting over there mates including me." Jasper said embarrassed. Alice, Rose, and I laughed. "Umm… Alice, truth or dare?" Jasper asked. "Dare…" Alice said trying to look ahead, but failing. She glared at him, and playfully hit him.

He grinned. "I dare you to dump flower all over Charlie, but before you do it use his covers to tie up his arms, and legs." Jasper said laughing at Alice's expression. Alice sighed, and ran down to the kitchen.

When I entered Charlie's room Alice was starting to tie up his arms, and legs. Alice did it so carefully that Charlie didn't even flinch. Alice held up the flower, and the quickly dumped it, and flew out of room. Charlie coughed, and sat up in surprise.

"What the hell am I doing covered in flower?" Charlie coughed. He looked at the ceiling glaring at it. "I hate you ceiling, keep your kitchen ingredients to your self, and leave me alone." Charlie yelled a little loudly.

Charlie tried getting up but he couldn't. He looked down at his arms, and legs, and groaned exasperated. "Now my damn bed is trying to kill me." Charlie said furiously. "First the damn ceiling, then my psycho of a daughter, and now my damn bed what's next, is my whole house going to start trying to torture me, and constantly try to kill me in my sleep?" Charlie huffed.

Charlie again tried to get up, but ended up falling out of his bed. "Ouch damn you floor, you hurt me once again. Some part of me is starting to think all the stress is starting to get to Charlie. I ran back to me room, and watched as Charlie went to the shower still swearing under his breath.

I laughed, and sat down. Alice giggled. "That was kinda fun…" Alice said surprised. I know what she meant. I never thought torturing Charlie would be this fun. "Edward, truth or dare?" Alice asked. "Dare…" Edward said nervous.

"I dare you to smack Charlie with a pillow when he gets out of the shower, and when he says ouch smack him again, but make sure he doesn't see you." Alice said laughing. I followed Edward out of my room, and we both went into Charlie's.

Charlie was lying in his bed snoring. Edward had drew an evil face on the pillow, and had filled it was sour cream. Edward went over to Charlie, then quickly smacked him with the pillow, and bolted down, and under Charlie's bed.

Charlie's eyes flew open. "Ouch!" Charlie bellowed, and started rubbing his face with his hands. Edward got up, and smacked Charlie with the pillow harder, and ran out of the room. Charlie jumped. "Ouch god damn it, leave me alone you stupid evil pillow.

There was sour cream all over Charlie, and his bed. Charlie punched the pillow, then he got up, and opened his window. "Say bye, bye Mr. Evil pillow." Charlie said then threw it out the window.

When Charlie put his window up he laughed evilly, and got back into his bed. "Hey if any other furniture would like to try to kill me please wait your turn, no shoving you can all take you turn at torturing me, and making me go to the shower, thank you." Charlie announced then flopped back down. I laughed as I walked back to my room. When I got back Edward was already looking around. "Jasper, truth or dare?" Edward asked smugly.

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	10. Chapter 10

"Dare, I guess." Jasper said reluctantly. "I dare you to take off Charlie's clothes, but leave the underwear." Edward said laughing. We all laughed quietly as Jasper left the room reluctantly.

I followed him into Charlie's room excited. Jasper slowly began to slip Charlie's shirt off, and pants off. Jasper had a blank expression the whole time. "When we the last time Charlie has changed his underwear?" Jasper asked quietly as he looked at Charlie's stained underwear.

"Stop checking out my dad, and let's go before he wakes up." I laughed quietly walking out of the room. Jasper glared at me, and followed me back to me room. Jasper set the clothes down in disgust. "Emmett truth or dare?" Jasper said smugly. "DARE." Emmett cheered.

"I dare you to shoot Charlie with a paint ball gun." Jasper chuckled. Emmett grinned, and ran to Charlie's room already carrying a loaded paint ball gun. I followed him. Emmett went to Charlie's closet, and quick aimed at Charlie, and shot him.

Charlie bellowed, and sat up in confusion. Emmett was all out of sight. There was a big spot of blue right on Charlie's chest. "Ouch, what the hell, where are my damn clothes, who just shot me with paint, and why am I talking to myself?" Charlie yelled.

I bit down on my lip to stop from laughing, but when I made it back to my room I laughed loudly. When Emmett came back he grinned. "Charlie is officially crazy." Emmett laughed. "But anyway, Bella truth or dare?" Emmett asked.

"Dare…" I said nervously. "I dare you to wake up Charlie by getting up on his bed, and jumping on it, when he glares at you sing a baby cartoon show, if he says you name ask him why he is naked, when he yells smile real big, and clap like a retard, and when he tells you to do something spit on him." Emmett said smugly.

I snickered, and walked over to Charlie's room. I slowly got up on his bed, then began jumping on it roughly. He eyes flew open in panic. "Earthquake!" Charlie shouted, but then he looked up at me, and glared at me.

"I then began to sing bob the builder very loudly still standing on his bed. Charlie put his hands over his ears, and groaned. "Bella I hate that song, go… play on the road or something weird people like you do." Charlie yelled.

"Charlie why are you naked?" I said in disgust. Charlie looked at me shocked, and then looked down at himself. He sighed in relief. "Bella I am not naked." Charlie said calmly. "Why are you naked?" I asked slowly. "I AM NOT NAKED!" Charlie yelled.

I smiled hugely at him. Charlie looked at me warily. I began to clap my hands with joy. Charlie looked at me with confusion on his face. "What is wrong with you?" Charlie wondered glaring at me. I then began to sing the Dora the explorer song.

Charlie started to hit himself on the forehead. "What is wrong with you?" I asked after I finished my song.

"You are what's wrong with me, all night long you have been trying to kill me with songs, and insults, the damn ceiling is trying to kill me what's next, is some kind of serial killer going to call me, and tell me I have 7 days to live, then some freak crawls out of the TV, and try's to murder my?" Charlie yelled. "Why not, it will be fun, then everyone can take turns hurting me, everyone is happy, you can throw a hell of a party after you try to flush me down the toilet, with all of the other things you try to kill, like your goldfish." Charlie said flopping down on his bed.

"You watch to many horror movies, you really show see someone about it." I said amused. "Why, one of you are going to kill me by morning any way might as well crack open a beer, and wait." Charlie said childishly. "Well ok then Dr. Weirdo." I said giggling.

"Sticks, and stones Bella." Charlie said. When I got back to my room everyone was still laughing. "Edward truth or dare…?" I asked. "Dare…" Edward said. "I dare you to call Charlie on his cell, and pretend you are a murder." I laughed.

Edward grinned, and got out his cell phone. I walked over to Charlie's room. Charlie cell ring loudly. Then Charlie woke up he answered it.

**Ed's pov**

"Hello Charlie." I said in a spooky murderer type voice. "Hello, who is this?" Charlie asked nervously. "That's not important, but do you know what is?" I asked. "What?" Charlie asked clearly scared. "I am watching you right now." I said evilly.

Charlie didn't answer, but I could hear him wheezing. "You are laying in bed, only in your underwear, and you are holding an umbrella, but an umbrella can't help you, because it's either your house or me that going to kill you." I said trying not to laugh.

"W-w-w-when?" Charlie asked scared. "7 days…" I whispered then I hung up. I could practically hear Charlie shaking. Bella came back into the room her beautiful face looking amused.

Then we all heard Charlie's door slam shut, and lock then I heard him moving around the room piling stuff against it. We all laughed. "Well I guess that's it for picking on Charlie for tonight." Alice sighed.

"Yeah let's all meet here again tomorrow night." Emmett suggested as he pulled Rose to the window. "Yeah sure, see you guys tomorrow." I said cheerfully. Then everyone one, but me left.

I have been thinking for a while about this, and that little talk with Emmett on the phone pushed me to it. I wrapped my arms around Bella. "Edward what are you doing?" My love asked smiling.

"I am going to do my dare." I said with lust filling in my eyes. She beamed, and kissed me passionately. I kissed her back, and lightly laid her on the bed, and we began were most of my fantasies began.

I am sorry I haven't been updating in a while, and i am afraid I still won't be able to for quite a while. I am grounded form computer for 9 weeks! My parents are away today so I am sneaking on. Shh.... don't tell them. But please pass it along the I won't be on for a long time. I will try to someho sneak on every on, and again, but it will be a while. I'm sorry my peeps. Bye. :(


	11. Chapter 11

Hey guys I'm back, and finally ungrounded!!!!! SO here you go guys.

B's pov

I looked over at Edward amazed at what we just did, and surprised at how wonderful it was. I knew it was going to be great, but I didn't know it would be like this, such a rush.

"Come on love, it's time for school." Edward said pulling me out of bed. I groaned, and walked to my closet. I didn't feel like going to school, Charlie is staying home sick, so I wanted to stay home to, and 'take care' of him. But Edward probably wouldn't let me stay at home…unless---

"Edward, I feel sorry for poor Charlie, and I think I should stay at home, and take care of him." I said hopefully. Edward looked at me with a smirk.

"Bella, do you just want to mess with Charlie?" Edward asked amused.

I looked down. "Yes." I said pouting.

Edward chuckled. "Sorry love, but you know school is more important than diving you father crazy." Edward said shaking his head.

"Please…?" I asked softly.

Edward hesitated, and thought about it.

"Let her stay Edward, you know it is going to be sunny outside, and you know how miserable you are when you aren't with Bella during the sunny mornings." Alice said as she entered through my window, with Jasper right behind her.

Edward frowned at her, and then sighed. "Fine, but this is the last time, no more skipping school for Charlie." Edward said in defeat.

"Great, but where is Rose, and Emmett?" I wondered. Alice, Edward, and Jasper cringed.

"Trust me Bella you do not want to know." Alice said in disgust. Edward shuddered, and wrapped his arms around me.

"Well come on, let's play before Charlie wakes up, and sends Bella to a psychologist." Jasper joked.

"Alright, it's Edward's turn, go ahead." Alice said excitedly jumping up, and down.

"Ok, Alice truth or dare?" Edward asked sitting down, and putting me in his lap. Alice looked at Edward nervously. "Dare…" Alice said.

"Ok I dare you to give Charlie a makeover, then dump jelly into Charlie's mouth, and take Charlie's bed, and put it in the living room, but keep Charlie in his room, then write a note saying Rene stole it." Edward laughed. I laughed with him.

Alice looked excited, as she entered Charlie's room. I watched as she slowly picked Charlie up, and laid him on the floor without waking him up. Alice carried the bed out to the living room, then she began putting bright red lip stick on Charlie, then she put yellow eye shadow on him, then she put blue mascara on him, then she finished him off with bright orange nail polish on his toe nail, and finger nails.

I laughed quietly, and quietly took a picture of Charlie. Alice then wrote a note.

Charlie I am taking your bed, Phil and I broke ours, so I hope you don't mind. Rene.

When Alice stuffed the jelly into Charlie's mouth she ran into the closet, and waited.

Charlie gagged, and sat up. He coughed out the jelly, and glared at the ceiling. "The last thing I need right now is your damn attitude, you stupid ceiling." Charlie yelled. But they he looked down in surprise, then back at the ceiling.

"Oh so now you are jealous of my bed, so you get rid of it." Charlie said glaring at the ceiling, but then he looked down at the note. When he finished reading the paper his face was pink.

"Damn that Rene, just break into my house, and steel my bed, just because you BROKE your damn bed with that freak Phil." Charlie grumbled. Charlie sat against the wall, but flipped the ceiling off before he fell asleep.

When Alice, and I walked back to my room where Jasper, and Edward was laughing quietly.

"Alright Bella, truth or dare?" Alice asked smugly. "Dare…" I said nervously.  
"I dare you to start calling Charlie officer Swine, then tell him you are sick, and stay fake coughing on him, then treat Charlie like a baby, and when he yells ask him why Patrick acts so stupid, and why Spongebob has funny teeth." Alice said smugly.

I groaned, and walked over to Charlie's room. I walked over to him, and jumped, making a loud smash sound.

Charlie jumped, and looked at me with a glare. "Hello Officer Swine." I said smiling warmly. Charlie looked at me annoyed. "It's Swan, you know that, and what are you doing home you should be at school?" Charlie asked glaring at me.

"Hey officer Swine I ask the questions, and you just sit there, and look pretty." I yelled. Charlie looked confused, and annoyed. "It's SWAN, and why are you asking questions?" Charlie asked rudely.

"Now now, no being rude, do you want a time out mister?" I asked in a baby voice. "Bella stop treating me like a baby." Charlie said mad. "Do, you want a time out?" I asked again a little louder.

Charlie sighed in annoyance. "No Bella, I don't want a damn time out, now go do whatever you weird people do." Charlie said frowning.

"Would you like your bottle now, or later?" I asked holding a fake bottle to him. He slapped the bottle away in disgust. "Get that damn thing away from me!" Charlie yelled.

"That's it you are grounded, no more TV for you!" I yelled going over, and picking up the bottle.

"You are not the boss of me, now go away." Charlie said annoyed. "Charlie why does Patrick act so stupid?" I asked curious. "I don't know, and I don't care, just leave, and take the damn ceiling with you." Charlie said rubbing his face roughly. "Charlie, why does Spongebob have funny teeth?" I asked. Charlie smacked his forehead.

"I don't know I'll ask him the next time we double date with Patrick, and Squidward." Charlie said exasperated. "You are so weird." I laughed. Charlie glared at me.

"I wouldn't be talking." Charlie mumbled.

I walked out of Charlie's room, and back to my room. "Edward, truth or dare?" I asked smugly.

I got a laptop for Christmas so I will probably be on all the time every day so yeah


	12. Chapter 12

**B's pov**

"Dare." Edward said after a while. "Ok, I dare you to fill Charlie's room with mouse traps and whoopee cushions, then when you are done flip a big spoon full of butter to wake him up." I said with a smirk. Edward grinned as he left the room.

Alice and I talked for about 5 minutes as Edward put down hundreds of mouse traps, and whoopee cushions. When he was finished I went to the door, and watched as Edward flung a whole stick of melting butter all over Charlie's face, and ran out the door.

Charlie jumped sitting up quickly, and made a swing at the sky. "Damn ceiling." Charlie said standing up, and rubbing the butter off his face. But then he stepped on the traps. "Ouch, oh mother of god, what in the hell are this mouse traps going here?" Charlie bellowed, but then he saw me at the door.

"You demon child, you did this." Charlie yelled taking a step forward making him step on a whoopee cushion. "Oh Charlie what have you been eating?" I asked plugging my nose as I laughed. "It was the damn whoopee cushion I swear." Charlie said glaring at me. "Whatever you say Mr. Farts a lot." I laughed walking back into the room. I heard a few more swears, and me farts then I head Charlie lay back down.

"Bella, truth or dare?" Edward asked. "Dare I guess." I said nervously. "Ok I dare you to have a conversation with Charlie, but everything you say either has to end with 'in bed', or 'in my pants'." Edward laughed.

I walked back to Charlie's room carefully walking over the mouse traps, and whoopee cushions. I lightly kicked him with my foot. Charlie groaned, and sat up looking at me. "What now?" Charlie asked. "I would like to talk to you…in my pants." I said. Charlie stared at me, with a confused, and scared look. "No thanks Bella." Charlie said in shock. "What's wrong, you don't swing that way…in bed?" I asked. Charlie rubbed his face looking annoyed.

"Charlie how are you…in bed?" I asked. Charlie looked at me turning red. "Why in the hell would you want to know?" Charlie stuttered. "I just thought it would be fun…in my pants." I said. Charlie looked at me in disgust. "That's not funny." Charlie said annoyed. "I think it's funnier…in bed." I said with a smirk. Charlie pinched his face. "Please let me be dreaming." He mumbled.

"One time I had a dream of Edward…in my pants." I said shyly. Charlie looked me sickened, and furious. "BELLA, shut the hell up, I don't want to hear about your sick twisted dreams!" Charlie said angry. "But I want to look…in your pants." I said. Charlie scooted a little farther away from me into a trap.

"Ouch, that trap is hurting my ass." Charlie yelled. "I don't want to hear about your personal problems…in bed." I said. Charlie looked at me glaring harshly. "I don't have any problems, you're the one with the problems. "I am getting really horny…in my pants." I said. Charlie looked at me, then looked at the window.

"It's a long way down, but it's worth it to get away from this." Charlie mumbled. "I love SpongeBob…in my pants. "That's great Bella, going on tell me more about your damn sex life, really I have a day." Charlie said annoyed.

"You're great…in bed." I said. "Charlie looked at me shocked. "How would you know?" Charlie asked. "I stalk you…in your pants." I said. "You know what go play in your own pants, and get out of here." Charlie yelled. "Ok see you in my pants Charlie." I said then ran back to my room.

That was funny, but just wait, Alice is in big trouble when I get to her.


	13. Chapter 13

**B's pov**

"Alice…truth or dare?" I asked as I took my seat back on my bed beside Edward.

"Dare!" She said trying to see into the future but not seeing anything.

"I dare you to wake Charlie up, tell him it's and dream, and just flirt with him and see if he would actually get perverted with you." I said holding back laughs.

Alice glared at me as she walked out of the room, but I followed her with a smug grin.

She tip toed past a few mouse traps that were left, and flicked Charlie on the eye.

He howled in pain, and held his eye.

"Damn it Bella!" Charlie growled but then he saw it was Alice and he gasped in confusion.

"Alice want are you doing here?" Charlie asked slightly wary.

"Charlie this is a dream you are dreaming." Alice said in an amused voice.

"But I felt try to flick my eye out…" Charlie said with a frown.

"I SAID THIS IS A DREAM!" Alice said getting impatient.

Charlie held up an umbrella and tried to smack her with it.

"Get you god damn pixie I know what you're after, I'll never give you my gold nuggets!" Charlie yelled.

Charlie I think has officially gone crazy.

"I don't want your nuggets Charlie, I just want you." Alice pouted.

Charlie froze and dropped his umbrella staring at Alice his mouth parted, and eyes huge.

"Maybe I am dreaming." Charlie said.

"Yes Charlie a dream, but I still want you Charlie; I really dig the hot police guys." Alice purred.

Charlie gulped, and I saw his hand reaching for his zipper.

"You know Alice I thought you were with that Jasper fellow." Charlie said.

"Not anymore, he just isn't satisfying; do you know where I could find a man with a real dick?" Alice asked.

Charlie raised his hand looking lustful, and in seconds his pants were off, thank god he was wearing underwear.

"Right here little elf, my buddy has been itching to see you." Charlie said fluttering his eyes like a girl.

Alice looked very bothered.

"Just close your eyes and I'll be right there." Alice said softly.

Charlie did as she said, and repeatedly started stroking his hair like it was on fire.

Alice pulled a hamster out of nowhere, and slowly put it in Charlie's underwear.

Charlie groaned.

"Now just keep those eyes closed or all the pleasure will go away, and you don't want that do you chief?" Alice asked.

"No way." Charlie moaned and his hips rocked furiously at nothing, and he continued to moan.

"Poor Charlie." Alice said with a low laugh.

"Poor hamster." I said with a laugh as we went back to our room.

"You do know he's going to kill that hamster right?" Jasper asked amused.

"Well I certainly wasn't going to do that!" Alice said a little freaked out that we could still hear Charlie from here.

"That hamsters name was chip." Emmett blurted out as he pulled Rose onto his laugh.

"Thanks for sharing Emmett." I said amused.

"He was a good little hamster, but sadly like all hamster's deaths no one could have stopped Charlie from trying to hump/rape him, no but he will always wish that someone would have found a banana, or teddy bear to let Charlie rape, but he will be happier when he dies, because he's know he saved a lot of stuffed animal's lives, and will be remembered as a hero forever." Emmett said in a sad serious voice.

We were all quiet for a minute before we busted out laughing, but then the scream from Charlie's room silenced us.

"Who put a dead MOLE in my underwear?" Charlie screamed.

"Hamster Charlie HAMSTER, Chip Oreo the HAMSTER!" Emmett pouted.

"It was Emmett's hamster." Rose sighed.

We laughed, this has to be the best truth or dare day ever!


	14. Chapter 14

**B's pov**

"But Edward, I don't want to go to school." I groaned as Edward and I walked back into Forks high school.

Yesterday we continued to torture Charlie, and we called in for a week off, and as we speak he was probably sleeping, perfectly peaceful, with nothing in his underwear, or falling on him, and his mind was none sane, it was so wrong!

"I'm sorry love, but you need to go to school, I will not let you skip another day of school to torture your father, what would Rene think?" Edward asked stroking my cheek.

I sighed and leaned into his touch.

"I just wanted him to pee his pants or something before we gave him this much of a break, I mean he will have hours of calm nice sleeping." I groaned.

Edward chuckled.

"Bella, you put him in a bikini, glued a rat on his stomach, and shaved most of his hair away, don't you think he could have just a few minutes of peace?" Edward asked.

I sighed again as we took our seats in class.

"Fine, but when I get back home he is _really _going to get it." I said reluctantly.

"You are so giving Bella." Edward teased.

I rolled my eyes but smiled at him.

Class started out boring like any other, but suddenly the teacher was called to the office over the announcements, and he left the room.

About five minutes later Alice, Jasper, Emmett, and Rose came into the room, and went to Edward and I.

"Emmett what did you do?" Edward asked horrified.

"Duck taped our teachers in the office and locked the door so they could come out." Emmett said as if it wasn't wrong at all.

I laughed at this, usually I would be a little freaked, but I knew what this meant.

"Let's play truth or dare!" I said loudly.

Everyone in the class cheered, and we all made a circle.

"Ok since Emmett is the one who made all of this possible let him go first." I said grinning at him.

Emmett played with his hair as he gave me a bashful look, but then he narrowed his eyes on Jessica.

She shifted in her space nervous.

"Jessica, truth or dare?" Emmett asked darkly.

She bit her lip.

"Dare." She said reluctantly.

"I dare you to humped the person closest to you on the head." Emmett laughed.

Jessica was sitting beside Angela and Lauren so I was anxious to see who she'd pick.

Jessica's face went red, and she stood up.

"I'm sorry Lauren." She sighed, and then she walked over to Lauren.

Lauren flinched.

"Hell no get the hell away from me!" She said as Jessica got in front of her.

But Jessica didn't listen and began to hump Lauren's face.

I laughed so hard tears filled my eyes along with the rest of us.

When Jessica stopped Lauren was shaking in fatal position, and sucking her thumb.

"The horror, the HORROR!" She cried, and continued.

Jessica looked so embarrassed.

"Jasper truth or dare." She mumbled.

Jasper hesitated, and frowned slightly.

"Dare I guess." He said.

She smiled evilly at him now, she mood totally changed.

"I dare you to lick everyone that says truth for the rest of the game and it has to be on the lips." Jessica said smugly.

Jasper sighed in annoyance, but nodded as he grumbled a fine.

"Emmett truth or dare?" He asked with a pleading lick.

"DARE duh Jazzy, like you have to ask." Emmett said in a girly tone.

Jasper's eye twitched at that, but he smirked.

"I dare you to a random room in the school bring back a teacher in this room, and type to the chair, and give her a lap dance." Jasper snickered.

Rose glared at him, but Emmett beamed, and ran out of the room.

He came back with Mrs. Cope, and with his strength he tied her to the chair.

We chanted Emmett's name as he looked at her a little disgusted.

But when he sat in her lap, and slowly began to grind her.

She moaned.

"Oh my lord Emmett, keep going you bad boy." She panted.

I could tell Emmett didn't like this and neither was Rose, but couldn't help but laugh loudly.

I just love the game truth or dare!


	15. Chapter 15

**B's pov**

As Emmett took his seat back beside Rose just a little bit in disgust that Mrs. Cope was still love from her chair, but then he turned his gaze to Mike with a smirk.

"Mikey-boy truth or dare?" Emmett asked.

Mike bit his lip, but then glanced at Jasper and quickly answered.

"dare." He said.

"Alright I dare you to go around the circle and grab each girl's boob and announce who was the biggest, except for Rose of course."" Emmett adding the last part on quickly.

Edward, and Jasper made a low noise at that, and Alice, and I looked at each other horrified.

Mike groaned, but quickly went to the first girl which was Angela.

He quickly grabbed her.

Angela backed up from him so fast she almost fell on her back as she turned red.

Mike then went to Jessica.

Jessica smiled at him sweetly, and shiver when he grabbed her.

I thought I was going to throw up, and I shifted a little farther away from the circle.

Edward hasn't even touched my boob like that in public.

Mike then went to Lauren, and grabbed her.

She jumped, and slapped him across the face making a red mark on his cheek.

He yelped and quickly moved on to me.

Edward glared at him as he got in front of me.

I glared at Mike to, and tried to put more space between us.

"No, no Bella, you have to do it, its Mike's dare." Emmett snickered.

I threw a glare at him, he wasn't helping and I could see the desire deeply in his eyes as his hand went out to me.

When his hand was on my boob I heard Edward low furious snarl, and noticed his hands shaking as if he wanted to strangle something, or someone.

I noticed his hand stayed there longer than the others so I slapped in with all I had.

Mike again cried out in slight pain, but grinned like he got caught in the cookie jar.

"You better watch yourself Newton." Edward hissed with the scariest death glare I ever saw, and the saying 'if looks could kill' run through my mind.

Mike gulped and quickly went to Alice only touching her for five seconds.

"That's not fair; he grabs me for 30 seconds." I huffed.

Edward stroked my face, and pulled me into his lap where I could feel him vibrating still.

"It's alright my love, I can promise you it won't happen again, just wait until it's my turn." Edward said darkly.

I smiled smugly at Mike knowing that if anyone could make insanely embarrassing, yet hilarious dares it's Edward.

"So who was the biggest boobs, and who has the smallest?" Emmett asked amused.

Mike turned red.

"Well Alice's were differently the smallest, and as the biggest it's differently Bella." Mike said looking away in embarrassment.

I turned red at that, but glared at him.

Everyone looked surprised at that.

"Really Bella's?" Jasper said looking at me.

Edward growled at him, and wrapped his arms fully around my blocking me from sight.

Jasper grinned sheepishly at him.

"Sorry." Jasper mouthed.

Edward just growled.

"Edward truth or dare?" Mike asked taking his seat again.

Edward snapped his gaze at Mike, and Mike shifted under his gaze.

"Dare." Edward said furiously.

"I dare you to let Bella come sit on my lap." Mike said smugly.

Edward was now growing furious, but his arms around opened, but I could still feel the possessiveness lingering around me like a cage.

Mike waited, but I didn't move.

"Well, come on." Mike said patting his lap.

"Oh no, you dared Edward to let me side on your lap, you didn't dare him to _make _me sit on your lap, so I don't have to if I don't want to, and I don't." I said smugly.

Edward sighed in relief, and kissed me sweetly.

Mike groaned in disappointment.

Edward now was glaring at Mike.

"Mike truth or dare?" Edward asked.

"Dare, I'm no chicken." Mike said buffing his chest out.

"I dare you to pull you pants down, and your underwear then sit on Mrs. Cope's lap, and pee on her, you can't move until you pee." Edward said smugly.

We all laughed at that loudly.

"I love you." I said hugging myself to Edward.

He chuckled, and watched as Mike reluctantly walked over to Mrs. Cope, and after taking his pants of and sitting on her; her face turned red.

"Oh god I must be dreaming." She said then began to try and hump Mike harshly.

"Go Mrs. Cope!" Emmett whistled.

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	16. Chapter 16

**B's pov**

It took about five minutes, but finally Mike peed on Mrs. Cope, and quickly pulled his pants up and came back over to us.

Mrs. Cope frowned, and looked down in her lap in disgust.

"You know I don't think it was very fair to use an old woman like that, and as thanks you pee in her lap." Mrs. Cope grumbled.

Emmett and I laughed at that but everyone else just looked at her with obvious disgust.

"Any way, it's Mike's turn, go." Emmett said.

"Umm ok Rosalie truth or dare?" He asked raising on brow at her.

She crossed her arms.

"Truth." She said reluctantly.

Jasper groaned, and since she was sitting right beside her he licked her on the lips, and gagged as he pulled away.

Rose glared at Jasper, than at Mike.

"Is it true that you are a natural blonde?" Mike asked.

Rose's eyes widened, and her eye twitched.

"N-no." She mumbled.

We all looked at her shocked.

I don't think any of us knew that.

"Bella truth or dare?" Rose asked quickly.

"Dare." I said with a glance at Jasper.

He sighed in relief, and smiled at me gratefully.

"I dare you to go around, and kiss every boy in this circle, except for Emmett, and tell us who the best kisser is." Rose said with a smirk.

Edward locked his arms around me and let out a low growl.

I groaned, but Edward let me go after Rose's death glare at him, and a little bit of Jasper's power to calm him.

I stood up and went to the first guy, and tried to not puke as I sat in front of Mike.

He grinned and bounced in his seat as he closed his eyes, and puckered his lips.

I was filled with so much disgust, that I crawled past him to Jasper.

"Hey!" He said with a pout.

"I don't want to start with you any way." I said, and quickly threw Alice an apologetic look.

She nodded with a slight smile.

I leaned forward and gently kissed Jasper, but quickly pulled away.

Edward looked at Jasper, and growled lowly with a harsh glare.

Jasper grinned sheepishly at him, and mouthed him a sorry.

I than moved to Tyler, who I didn't even notice was here until now.

I kissed him even quicker, and moved onto Edward.

When I got in front of him I grinned at him, and leaned forward until his lips were on mine.

Sparks flew as he deepened the kiss, and I found myself pulling him closer to me, and just holding myself there.

He smiled around my lips, and pulled away with a chuckle.

"Oh my silly Bella, what am I going to do with you?" Edward whispered pecking my lips gently.

"Well I can tell you when we get back to my house; I still have a nice soft bed waiting for us there, so you better be ready." I said lowly, and kissed him back.

I could feel Edward's excitement at that I giggled, and reluctantly moved back to Mike.

He again closed his eyes and puckered his lips.

I groaned, and leaned in and as my lips touched his I heard Edward snarl lowly.

My stomach heaved, and soon I pulled away, and covered my mouth.

I ran to the trash can in the room and puked in to.

Edward was by my side in seconds, and hugged me to him.

"Bella are you alright?" He asked when I was done.

"Yeah, Mike just tried to shove his tongue down my mouth." I said glaring at Mike.

Edward fumed as we walked back to the circle.

"Well who was the best, and worst kissers?" Rose asked.

"Edward was the best by far, and Mike was the obvious worst." I said shaking my head in disgust.

Mike looked disappointed.

"Alice, truth or dare?" I asked with a grin.

"Dare." She said nervously.

"I dare you…..

**REVIEW, or you might end up like poor Charlie, or !**


	17. Chapter 17

**B's pov**

"….give Mrs. Cope a strip tease." I said with an evil smile.

Alice groaned, and Jasper glared at me causing Edward glare at him with so much anger it made both of us shiver.

He was still pretty mad with Mike.

Alice stood up, and got in front of Mrs. Cope and closed her eyes.

Mrs. Cope was a little freaked when Alice starting slipped her shoes off, but then she began to bark like a dog when Alice slipped her pants off.

"Throw that sexy beast a bone Alice." Emmett hooted.

When Mrs. Cope saw her start to unbutton her shirt she blushed, and made a v with her fingers, and began to lick in between them, and moan Alice's name.

"Come here little Alice let me hump that cute pixie body of yours all over this room, I'm so horny." Mrs. Cope whined.

Alice was really freaked out now, and when she was only in her undies and bra Mrs. Cope licked her lips.

"Mama wants that fine thang, give me a little sugar, come on babe, I'm so wet." Mrs. Cope moaned, and began humping the air.

Alice quickly put her clothes on and ran to Jasper and crawled into his lap shaking in fear.

"The horror, the HORROR!" Alice yelled into Jasper's chest.

**LOL ALL DONE UNTIL TOMORROW, SORRY OUT OF IDEAS! BUT I'LL CONTINUE IF YOU GIVE ME SOME SUGGESTIONS! **


	18. Chapter 18

**Thanks to all of you that reviewed some of you gave me some *Cough* interesting suggestions, to for those who gave me those ideas I am going to write this chapter for you. You know who you are!**

**At the end of this chapter I will have a surprise for those who gave me some ideas! I'll be doing this for each chapter now. THANKS MY PEEPS. **

**Enjoy my lovely story!**

**B's pov**

"Ok Alice, it' your turn." Jasper said when Alice stopped shaking.

Alice sniffed, and looked at Lauren.

"Lauren truth or dare?" She asked bouncing in Jasper's lap.

"Like dare." She said.

"Like go choice, like I dare you to wear this diaper full of peanut butter and ask Mrs. Cope to lick the peanut butter out." Alice grinned.

Lauren paled as Emmett threw her a diaper filled with peanut butter.

"Emmett, why did you bring that?" I asked laughing.

He shrugged, Chip loved playing in peanut butter diapers, so I just that maybe one of you guys would like it to." Emmett sniffed.

"Chip Oreo the Hamster?" Jasper asked.

Emmett nodded sadly.

Everyone stared at Emmett and Jasper in confusion except for the Cullen's and I.

Well all kind of understood about the Chip obsession with Emmett.

While we had been staring at Emmett Lauren had put the diaper on.

We all laughed at how uncomfortable she looked as she waddled over to Mrs. Cope.

"Mrs. Cope, will you like lick the peanut butter out of my diaper?" Lauren asked embarrassedly.

Mrs. Cope looked at her shocked, and a little scared, but then her eyes filled with lust.

"Sure, that sounds so kinky, I love it you bad girl, how did you know I had a thing for peanut butter filled diapers?" Mrs. Cope groaned.

Lauren went to walked away in fear when somehow Mrs. Cope got her arms free, and she grabbed Lauren, and she pulled onto her lap.

Mrs. Cope began to grin Lauren, and moan.

"Oh yeah the peanut butter is everywhere baby, oh my god I want it inside me!" Mrs. Cope groaned loudly.

"RAPE!" Lauren shrieked.

"If you insisted sexy." Mrs. Cope grunted, and began to hump her harder.

"Jessica help me!" Lauren screamed.

"Oh yeah, I love three-somes to sugar-cakes!" Mrs. Cope moaned.

Emmett pulled out a video camera, and began recording.

"Oh yeah give some, do it like the animals on the discovery channel!" Emmett hooted.

But Jessica ran over quickly, and tried to get Lauren off of Mrs. Cope, when they were both free they ran back panting loudly.

"Horny lady over here still, please come back again girl." Mrs. Cope pleaded.

Jessica, and Lauren flinched, and quickly looked away from her, and went back to the game with flushed faces.

**REVIEW…And the following people that review please stay, and read what is under this note! The following people****: ****The-Elusive-Charmer, Hannah Baker, and alieangle.**

**Here is your suggestion if I would have used it in my story.**

**This one made me laugh!**

**The-Elusive-Charmer**

"Alright Emmett, truth or dare?" Alice asked with an evil smile.

"Hmm let me think, duh, dare me!" He hooted.

"I dare you to take a piece of someone's clothes that has chosen dare, and how ever how many times that's how much or it you can take." Alice grinned.

Emmett laughed, and went to Mike.

"Give me a shirt, and those pants." Emmett chuckled.

Mike did was he said but when he put his pants in Emmett's hand Emmett dropped it quickly and wiped his shirt with his hand, and moved to Jessica.

"Give me a shirt." He said.

Jess sighed, and did was he said.

Jessica quickly put her arms around her.

Emmett went to Lauren looking at her eager expression.

"Give me a sock." Emmett said.

She frowned.

"Why only a sock?" She grumbled.

"Because, no one wants to see what you got except for Mrs. Cope." Emmett snickered.

"That's right hot pants." Mrs. Cope called out.

Lauren hid her face at that.

Emmett then moved to Edward.

"Give me a shirt Eddie-boy." Emmett grinned.

I watched as my angel took his shirt off showing the gorgeous chest that I constantly was looking in my dreams.

"Ok Bella, give me a shirt." Emmett said.

I sighed, and handed him my shirt, and I quickly got chills.

Edward quickly put me in his lap, and wrapped his arms around me, hiding me from view.

"Damn Eddie, Mike was right; Bella really does have huge boobs." Emmett said shocked.

I blushed, and Edward erupted in furious snarls that had me shaking.

"Calm down Edward." I said kissing his arms.

He did but kept his death glare on Emmett, and Mike.

Emmett took Alice, and Jasper's tops, then he sat back down after taking his shirt of, and his pants.

Mrs. Cope was going crazy over in her chair.

"Oh dear god get the fuck over here, I want a piece of each of you, oh my freaking god, I'm like a horny time bomb here, help a woman out here!" Mrs. Cope shrieked.

"Why did you have to pick Mrs. Cope?" Jasper asked flinching at her lust.

Emmett shrugged.

"You heard her, she's a horny old lady, I was thinking that you were going to try and kill another poor hamster so I picked the lady that only takes of thrust to kill anything, just as her five husbands." Emmett said.

We all stared at Emmett.

He was weird guy, but who doesn't love a good day of truth or dare.

**Hope you liked this ****The-Elusive-Charmer! **

**For Hannah Baker ENJOY**

Lauren, truth or dare?" Alice asked with a grin.

"Like dare." Lauren said nervously.

"Cool, like I dare you to like kiss the like hottest _girl _in this like room." Alice laughed evilly.

Lauren glared at her.

"Damn like, I'm not like lesbian." Lauren said looking around the circle.

"That's like to bad." Alice said snickering.

Lauren got up, and walked over to Rose.

Rose looked horrified, and started to back up when Lauren got in front of her and kissed her.

Rose pulled away in disgust, and gagged, then attacked Emmett's mouth.

Lauren walked back embarrassed, and sat down.

When Rose and Emmett finished their mini-make out session we went back to playing.

I don't know why but it kind of feels like that Lauren liked kissing Rose!

**Hope you enjoyed this Hannah Baker!**

**Finally, the one that had me laughing the most, and I think was the funny one to read….for ****alieangle.**

"Ok umm Jasper truth or dare?" Alice asked sweetly.

"Umm I guess I would have to say dare." Jasper said nervously.

"I dare you to sit it that bath tub filled with ice-cream, and ketchup forever!" Alice said evilly.

Jasper stared at her, then at the tub that was sitting by the window that I never noticed.

I guess Alice had a vision of this and came prepared.

"F-forever?" Jasper asked standing up?

"Well no, until tomorrow." Alice said with a slight frown.

Jasper sighed in relief, and went to the tub.

When he got in he hissed.

"This is freezing Alice, what kind of ice-cream is this!" Jasper shrieked.

Alice laughed.

"That's my little secret." She said evilly.

Jasper shivered in the tub, and looked disgusted.

"And why ketchup?" He asked horrified.

"Because ice-cream rock, and so does ketchup, so if ice-cream, and ketchup have a baby together maybe that will be cool to." Alice shrugged.

Alice wasn't making a lot of sense right now, but I laughed anyway.

"E-emmett, t-t-truth or d-d-d-dare." Jasper shivered.

"D-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-dare." Emmett snickered.

Jasper glared at him.

"I dare y-you to act like a m-monkey." Jasper said annoyed.

Emmett grinned and stood up.

He began to jump up and down, and he hopped to Lauren, and picked through her hair, and pretend to eat bugs out of her hair.

"Give me a banana, or I'll throw my poop at you." He yelled pointing at each of us.

We all laughed at this.

When it comes to Emmett and truth or dare, I don't know how this could ever get boring.

**Hope you liked this alieangle!**

**And if anyone else wants their ideas like this give me suggestions, or give me a review that makes me laugh!**


	19. Chapter 19

**Again I had some suggestions for my next chapter, so I picked three and the three I picked will be at the bottom of this chapter! Good Job peoples! ENJOY!**

**B's pov**

"Lauren it's your turn so pick." Jessica said looking at her.

"_Bella, _truth or dare?" She sneered at me.

I looked at Edward for help.

He shrugged nervously, and grinned at my amused look.

"Truth I guess." I said reluctantly.

Jasper groaned, and crawled over to me.

Crap I forgot about Jasper's dare.

Jasper licked my lips softly and quickly pulled away and went back to Alice.

I wiped my mouth quickly, and tried to get Edward calmer.

"Ok _Bella_, are you still a virgin, and if you aren't with who?" Lauren asked smugly.

I turned red, and bit my lip, I really didn't want to tell anyone about Edward and I's physical relationship, but I didn't have a choice.

"Umm…n-no I'm not a virgin, and because of Edward." I admitted my face turning deeper shades of red.

Everyone looked surprised except for Em.

"Yep, Edward called me for tips to!" He said proudly.

At that everyone laughed, even Edward, but he hugged me to him, and kissed the top of my head.

"Emmett, truth or dare?" I asked wanting revenge so much I could feel my evil cloud my eyes.

"Duh Bella, DARE!" Emmett hooted.

"I dare you to dress up in a cat suit for the rest of the game, and only act like a cat." I said with an evil laugh.

Emmett looked at me scared.

"But Chip was always so afraid of cats, it would be like I was betraying our loving trust that we shared before Charlie killed him." Emmett whined as Alice handed him a suit.

"Sorry Em, but I think Chip would understand, and if not…well I'll buy you a new hamster." Jasper offered as Emmett began slipping the suit on.

"No one could replace Chip EVER!" Emmett said before sliding the huge cat head on.

I giggled at him; he was so fuzzy, and orange.

His head turned to me, and on four paws he walked over on me, and rubbed his head on my shirt.

I petted his head and laughed, but Edward frowned.

"Meow." Emmett yelled.

I got up, and got on Emmett's back laughing as Em purred, and started running around the room with me on his back.

I laughed loudly as we circled around Mrs. Cope.

"Come here kitty!" She cooed.

Somehow Emmett's tail began to swing back, and forth, and he pretended to pee on her.

She glared at her, and out of nowhere she pulled a broom, and wacked Em with it.

Emmett hissed, and ran us back to the circle.

I crawled off him, and went back to Edward who was still frowning.

"What's wrong Edward?" I asked.

He sighed.

"Nothing really…" He said looking away.

I raised a brow at him, and then I understood.

"Awe Edward, I'd love to ride on your back any day in a huge cat suit." I said taking his face in my hands.

He looked at me now warmth rushed in his eyes.

"Really?" He asked in a daze.

"Of course Eddie pie." I laughed.

Edward beamed.

Yep that's my Edward, jealous of huge orange cats!

**And there are the fans who reviewed that really got my attention: ****, bamagal110, ****angie. **

**For: (I love the name!)**

**Enjoy!**

"Alright Bella truth or dare?" Em asked looking at me evilly.

I gulped, and thought about it before answering.

"Dare." I said reluctantly.

"Kay, since Eddie was so keen on getting my sex advice let's see who my advice works on you, I dare you to do it with Eddie right here, right now." Emmett said laughing loudly at Edward and my expression.

I looked at Edward my face on fire, but he just looked at me in embarrassment, but then an idea hit me.

And I grabbed Edward and pulled him on top of me.

Emmett laughed loudly along with a few others in surprise.

Edward looked down at me amused, and kissed me gently.

I slowly grinded him making us both moan.

But I made sure my moans where ridiculously loud, and I began to talk dirty.

"Oh yeah Edward harder, faster!" I moaned.

Everyone was now uncomfortable at this, but of course Emmett wasn't but this was all part of my plan.

An when I moaned again Mrs. Cope busted out of her chair, and ran over to us.

I stopped and rolled Edward and I away from her, and Emmett grabbed her.

"No let me get them, their teasing me, make them stop before I explode, I want those fine ass's of their NOW!" Mrs. Cope shrieked.

I sat up, and got back in Edward's lap, and waited smugly as Emmett tied her back to the chair, then staple the sides of her clothes to the chair.

When Emmett came back he looked at us.

"Man Eddie cakes if I knew you two liked it rough I would have given you different tips." Em laughed.

I went red again and Em laughed at Edward low embarrassed growl.

"I just that was too much on little Eddie, it looks like he's ready to go camping with the size of that tent." Emmett said rolling with laughter.

I bit back a giggle at Edward erection, but he quickly cover it by sitting me on it.

Oh god if he is going to do that then we might have to pause this game for a few hours, and I know a janitor's closet close by.

**Hope you like it!**

**For bamagal110!**

**Enjoy!**

"Alright Bella, truth or dare?" Mike asked evilly.

I looked at Edward for an answer but he shrugged with a sly smile.

Great so both were going to be terrible.

"Dare I said reluctantly.

"I dare you to make out with Alice." He said laughing.

Alice and I looked at each other in horror.

"OH I'll do it, let me do it!" Mrs. Cope yelled excitedly.

I slowly crawled over to Alice, and she gave me a reluctant nod.

Then I pressed my lips to hers and closed my eye, then pretended I was kissing Edward.

Our kiss deepened, and became passion, and when her tongue went into my mouth I wanted to gag, but then reminded myself that Alice was Edward, and I stuck my tongue into her mouth.

When we pulled away Jasper and Edward was staring at us looking so lustful that it made me blush.

I quickly moved away from Alice, and back to Edward.

Alice smiled weakly at me.

"Well, at least you were a good kisser." She teased.

"Yeah, back at you." I laughed embarrassedly.

Today I made out with a pixie, oh god, what would Charlie think, he'll be so jealous.

**Hope you liked it! **

**And for angie.**

**Enjoy!**

"Ok Eddie-bear truth or dare?" Emmett asked with an eager look.

Edward frowned at Emmett in annoyance, probably unable to read his thoughts on what he was thinking for the dare.

"Dare." He said reluctantly.

"I dare you to dress up in this superman costume and go 'save' Mrs. Cope, and go tie her in the office with the rest of our teacher, while sing 'I jizzed in my pant'." Emmett said laughing uncontrollably.

Edward groaned.

"But I hate that song!" Edward hissed.

"Either that or 'Milkshake' by Kelis." Emmett said smugly.

"That's even worse!" Edward said groaning again.

"Well Edward go on." Alice said throwing his the costume.

Edward sighed and put it on, I laughed at how adorable he looking in it.

"You look so hot Edward." I giggled, hoping that would encourage him, and it worked her smiled.

"Thanks angel." He said stroking my cheek.

"Yeah now you'll know what to wear for the next time you and Bella want to get busy in a creative way." Emmett laughed.

We both threw him a glare but Edward walked over to Mrs. Cope who stared at him in horror.

"I'll safe you Mrs. Cope." Edward said, and picked her up trying to keep her body far away from him.

She began to try and hump him like crazy, and Edward began to sing, and jog to the office.

"Oh dear fucking god," She shrieked as she listened to his words. "That's right, let me get into those tights of yours and 'save' you, I bet you are dying for a release.

Edward just continued to sing until I could no longer see him.

When he reenter he ran to me in fear, and put me in his lap, and hid in my hair.

"The horror, the horror!" He whimpered.

It seems that's the only effect Mrs. Cope had on everyone so far.

**Hope you liked it!**

**Thanks everyone for reviewing, and keep suggesting and I'll continue!**


	20. Chapter 20

twihardfanpire24, , Paramore Fanatic 13, you are the lucky winners this time, thanks for your ideas and reviews, so please don't forget to look at your ideas at the bottom!

Oh and all the winners just so you know their suggestions aren't actually in the story, there just written as thanks for reviewing.

B's pov

"Edward it's your turn." Alice sang.

Edward looked at her, and smirked.

"OK Alice truth or dare," Edward asked looking at her smugly when she hesitated.

"Umm, dare I guess, but please no more Mrs. Cope." She pleaded.

Mrs. Cope batted her eyes at Alice, and made kissing noises.

Alice flinched and looked at Edward with fear.

"I dare you to take off Mrs. Cope's shirt and rub bananas all over her stomach." Edward said cringing at the thought.

Alice groaned, but stood up, and picked up a banana that Emmett had brought.

She slowly walked over to Mrs. Cope, who was looking at Alice like a piece of meat.

"What are you doing sexy pixie?" Mrs. Cope asked panting as Alice ripped her shirt off.

Alice bit her lip in disgust as Mrs. Cope began to hump at the air, I never thought I would ever feel more sorry for air.

And as Alice rubbed the banana all of her she moaned, and began to talk dirty.

"Oh yeah, fuck banana!" She shrieked.

That poor banana.

When Alice finished she ran back to Jasper, and hid into his chest.

But then the shrill sound of the bell got our attention.

"Yes, time to torture Charlie!" I hooted, and everyone looked up at me scared.

"Oh not really torture him, just make him pee his pants a little then go insane." I said quickly.

They all looked relieved, and we all got up.

Mike looked at Mrs. Cope in fear as he walked past, and began to run as she winked at him.

I cringed at that, and pulled Edward out of the class room as fast as I could and to his Volvo.

**Right here I'm going to put in the three people who won, but after that there more of this story under it, back with Charlie. **

twihardfanpire24 enjoy!

"Edward truth or dare?" Rose asked looking bored.

Edward looked at her with a raised brow.

"Dare." He said not sounding afraid, but then Rose's expression changed to evil, and she laughed.

I dare you to make out with Mike." She said, and I gasped in horror.

Edward and Mike looked at each other in disgust.

"Hell no." Mike yelled.

Edward glared at Rose.

"I'm not doing it." Edward hissed.

"Do it, it's a dare, you have to." Rose snarled, and panic hit me as Edward let out a groan and pulled me off his lap, and he slowly walked to Mike.

Mike flinched and slowly crawled backward away from him.

But Edward quickly was in front of him, then when their lips met I felt myself get dizzy, and everything went black.

"Bella are you ok?" Edward asked looking at me, back in his lap.

I looked up at him, and looked at Mike how was laying on his back to, pasted out with Mrs. Cope humping him wildly, and moaning.

"What happened?" I asked.

"I did my dare, but thankfully Mrs. Cope somehow got loose, and pulled us apart, and well that." Edward said pointing to them.

Thank god for Mrs. Cope.

**Hope you liked to! **

**And for ** enjoy!

"Mike truth or dare?" Rose asked looking at him with a frown.

He thought about it.

"Dare, how bad could it be?" He said shrugging.

"I dare you to feel every guys balls here, and tell us who's feels the best, I have wondered for a while if my Em is the best, I'm very confident.

All the guys went tense in horror, and I couldn't help but let out a laugh.

"I bet Edward's is the best." I said grinning at Rose.

She rolled her eyes.

"Nah Jasper obviously." Alice said grinning smugly.

"Want to bet?" Rose asked.

Alice, and I nodded.

"Alright go on Mike let's see." Rose said.

Mike looked like he was going to vomit as he moved to Eric first.

Eric slightly moved away, but when Mike's hand touched he got an erection immediately.

"Wow, someone is sure happy today." Emmett laughed loudly.

Mrs. Cope was panting even louder from her chair now, and was talking dirty.

Mike then went to Ben, who flinched when he touched him.

Now it was Edward.

Edward glared at him, and I noticed Mike's hands shake.

And when he touched Edward, Edward smacked him over the head, and growled.

I grinned, and petting Edward.

"It's ok." I cooed, and laughed at Edward's erection.

He embarrassingly put me on his lap so it was out of sight.

"That wasn't very nice Bella." I said in a sexy voice.

I shivered at it in pleasure.

But I watched as Mike grabbed Jasper.

Jasper flinched, and backed away.

Mike then got to Emmett, and touched his hand.

Emmett held Mike's hand there and Mike flinched.

"Feel that, you can't have that, you got the tiny ones and, now you know that I'm the real man here." Emmett said and let Mike's hand go smugly.

Mike's eye twitched, and he went back to his spot.

"So who got the good stuff?" Rose asked smugly.

Mike gulped, and looked at each of us.

"It's a tie." He said lowly.

"Between who tell us." Alice said.

"Jasper, and Edward's, but I'm going to say Jasper." Mike said embarrassed.

Alice laughed in victory, and Rose and I mumbled.

I didn't care what Mike said, I think Edward's is the best.

**Hope you liked it!**

**And for **Paramore Fanatic 13, enjoy!

"Bella truth or dare?" Edward asked looking at me sweetly.

Oh boy.

"Dare." I said unsure.

"I dare you to call Charlie, dirty talk to him." Edward said handing me his phone.

I groaned, and dialed his number, and put it on speaker.

"_Hello?" _Charlie's tired voice said.

"_What are you wearing right now big boy?" _I said in a voice that sounded like nothing like mine.

I heard Charlie stuttered, and a glass falling.

"_Who is this?" _He stuttered.

"_I'm you little friend, and you know I have a problem that I think you could help me with." _I purred.

Edward looked at me with lust, and envy, but I grinned as I listened to Charlie's wild breath.

"_I'll do anything you want sugar." _Charlie said after a pause.

"_Good, get on that bed now." _I said in the sexiest voice I could.

_All right, how about the floor?" _Charlie said.

"_Perfect, hurry I'm so wet." _I moaned.

As I continued I noticed Edward, he was gritting his teeth together, and I could feel his erection as he shifted him in his lap.

Alice sighed.

"_Was that Alice?" _Charlie asked in a pant.

I looked at her.

"_Oh yeah I love three-somes, don't you?" _I said.

"_Oh, yeah especially with that Pixie." _Charlie stuttered.

Jasper growled at that, but I hung up then unable to stand it anymore, it was just to wrong.

Well I sure learned a lot about Charlie.

**Hope you liked it.**

**If you want your idea in this review me something that will make me laugh, and if I think your dare is funny enough I'll put it in.**

**Thanks for reading!**

When I opened the door to the house I had to hold back my laughs as I looked at what I saw.

Charlie was only in his underwear, he was dancing with a lap, and sinking into the toilet plunger, I think he was singing 'What's your fantasy' from 'Ludacris'.

He had food smashed all over his face, and was just bouncing around the room.

"I want to lick, lick lick you from your head to your toes." Charlie sung then he saw me, and jumped behind the couch.

"Damn it Bella, how can you be home already, you ruined m party." Charlie asked in fear.

"Party for what?" I asked curiously.

"The I'm free from Bella for a week party, I'm sending you to Carlisle for the week, so you can torture- I mean spend time with Carlisle." Charlie said getting up and slowly walking away from me.

I beamed.

Torturing Carlisle does sound like fun, oh this is going to be great.

"Great, I'll go pack." I beamed and walked to the stairs.

Out of on were Charlie threw water at me, holly water.

I looked at him annoyed.

He grinned sheepishly.

"I was just making sure that I wasn't sending a demon to Carlisle, I had my doubts." He admitted.

I glared at him.

"Nope, and Charlie, your hair, looks like a cat." I said grinning, and I ran to my room.

But I heard Charlie grumble a Poor Carlisle.

THE END

**SO that's the hint, this story is over, then end, and my sequel poor Carlisle is coming soon, thanks everyone for reading! **


	21. Poor Carlisle up!

Poor Carlisle is up now! Please enjoy my sequel!

And if you want me to update it please review my story Angels or devils! :)


	22. Let it Spread

**Hello all you 'Poor Charlie' fans out there! I know that A few of you, or maybe many of you loved this story, and can't wait for updates on the sequel! I'll be updating that one soon!**

**But I'm just here to talk about something.**

As you can probably tell I love making comedies and "Poor Charlie" has been seen as some kind of success but I want this story to be seen by even more people.

My goal is to at least get one famous person to read this story, and maybe enjoy it as much as you all did.

The only way this goal can become reality is if I can get this story spread out around the world, more and more.

So please! The Fans of "Poor Charlie" please help me in making this story the most popular comedy on the internet.

With you're help that can happen!

Please forward along this story, post it on facebook, advertise it on YouTube, anything could happen, and anyone could happen to find it.

Thanks so much for all of your support, and flipping funny review!

Charlie would be so honored that you love him being tortured like this.

**~~Also!~~ **

All of you have said in your reviews that you are reading this in places such as, a library, at home late, at work. This makes my day hearing that you are all peeing yourselves in those following places! And I'm sorry if I'm getting any of you in trouble lol!

Charlie and I both love you with all our hearts, even though you laugh at his pain, and I cause you pain in your stomachs, and damp pants.

Thank you all for reading!

Alida.


	23. Poor Charlie Continues!

**Surprise!**

Guess what! After reading over some more reviews I decided I would continue "Poor Charlie" But of course since all of the Cullen's and Bella are busy torturing Carlisle, Charlie is home alone… or is he...

Let's say Charlie went to La Push to try and relax from his torture, so he goes to a little party Billy invited him to… and the wolf boys decided that this party wouldn't be fun unless they did some… truth or dare…

**Sneak Peek to the next chapter! **

"… Jake, I dare you to tell Charlie you pushed Bella off a cliff, and raped her," Paul smirked at me.

I gasped, looking at him with a glare.

"Do you want him to shoot me, hell no!" I barked.

"Do it you chicken ass," Paul narrowed his eyes at me.

I rolled my eyes, and slowly stood up glaring at them all.

"Fine, but if he shoot me, I'm gonna kick your ass." I warned, and walked to Charlie.

He sat staring into the fire with a slight twitch.

I poked his arm, and he nearly jumped off his chair.

He sighed in relief as he saw it was me.

"What the hell, Jake don't sneak up on me like that, do you know the horror's I've gone through today?" Charlie said shaking his head.

"Charlie.. I pushed Bella off a cliff," I said with a nod.

Charlie's eyes widened.

"That's not even possible, she went to the Cullen's…" he muttered.

"…ahh I kidnapped her… and shoved her off the cliff," I thought up quickly.

Charlie looks up at me now, looking just as calm, as if we were talking about the weather.

"Is she dead," He asked pleasantly,"

I stared at him in disbelief.

"I raped her…." I yelled loudly at him, hoping for a reaction.

"What!" Billy yelled staring at me in horror.

"You raped who Jacob?" Sam said tensely.

"No no, I didn't rape anyone!" I said quickly.

"He raped my daughter! He raped my daughter, call the cops!" Charlie screamed pointing at me, bouncing in his seat as he did so.

"NO, no I didn't I was just kidding!" I shouted.

"Jake, I told you, don't mess with Charlie! Don't shout around him either, that's brings back his horrible thing he won't tell us about," Billy said to me with a stern look.

"WHY is everyone screaming!" Charlie yelled covering his eyes, and kicking sand at my face. "Stupid jock!" He hissed at me, aiming for my mouth on purpose.

I gagged the sand out quickly, and dashed back to the others.

They all were laughing their ass's off as I sat back down and I glared.

"Oh you want to know what it's like with talking with Charlie… let's see." I said looking around for my next victim.

**~There was the little sneak peak for you!~**

**An actual chapter will be put up April 17th 2012! **

**Thanks for reading! **


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